5 Ways to Boost Her Sex Drive
It’s all of that—and more.
Here is how to improve your woman’s s*xual experience using her sense organs;
Where Does Pleasure Start?
With a glimpse of skin—or the first touch? Maybe it’s the sound of her key in your door. We use our five senses primarily for purposes other than enjoyment. s*x is a chance to use them to just experience your body. And hers. And yours with hers. Employ all five senses, and s*x is more than a roll in the sack. It’s pure pleasure.
Touch is a woman’s primary trigger for desire.With the other senses, you’re not necessarily engaged while your partner experiences it. But touch is reciprocal: “You can feel me touching you while I experience touching you.”
Take advantage with a s*x therapy technique called “sensate focus.” Have your partner lie flat on her back with her eyes closed, and slowly caress her head and face—hair, nose, ears, lips; cover it all. Pretend this is your last chance to savor her body. Move to her torso and legs and feet, then flip her over and repeat.
The point is to chart new er*tic territory. The private parts, breasts, and inner thighs have the most nerve receptors, so they’re most sensitive. But almost any body part can become er*tic if you learn to associate it with s*xual pleasure.
Your natural scent may actually be one of the most powerful tools in your arousal arsenal. There is some evidence that humans have pheromones.
So sweat together: Exercise activates your apocrine glands, the site of pheromone release in primates. Each woman reacts differently, but research shows that musk can decrease vaginal bloodflow; women may associate the scent with jerks. Instead, dust your bod in baby powder, which can elevate vaginal bloodflow, or for a first date, wear eucalyptus, camphor, and menthol. These scents increase empathy.
Your moaning may excite her, but it’s probably not what sends her over the edge. Sounds cue men in to whether a woman is really enjoying s*x, but women can physically see when a man is aroused. What she really craves is communication. In the form of four-letter words.
If whispering explicit nothings doesn’t come naturally, simply tell her what you want during s*x, but substitute naughty words for your normal s*xual vocab. You don’t want her to feel out of control. Start by telling her to do things you already know she’s comfortable with.
Or let music do the job for you. Explicit lyrics can have the same effect as dirty talk. Turn it into foreplay.
Most women don’t want pictures of your man-hood. But not because they think your it is repulsive; they just want to see all of you. Men are often turned on by body parts, but most women are turned on by context and people. When women look at s*xual pictures, they look at many things besides private parts—what’s on the table, the color of the flowers. It’s not that she’s more interested in the centerpiece than your man-hood: Women just use more visual cues to guide their attraction.
Research suggests that the most resounding cue may, in fact, be your face. Instead of shooting her a dirty pic, send a head shot with a sexy caption. But in bed, let her see all the action: Have her lie on her back, knees up, and kneel between her legs. More of your muscles will be visible and activated. Plus, she can watch you penetrate.
Katy Perry kissed a girl. . .and what did she remember? The taste of cherry ChapStick. Women care more than men do about a pleasant-tasting mouth, possibly because their sense of taste is more finely tuned. But the effect is more Pavlovian than primal: If a taste reminds you of a successful s*xual experience, it will induce arousal.
If she doesn’t dig the taste of semen, you probably aren’t going to change her mind. So take the more obvious route to gustatory arousal: food. Choose a food she rarely eats but enjoys—ay, chocolate-covered cherries—and feed it to her during foreplay.
The s*x reinforces the pleasure of food, and the pleasure of food reinforces the s*x. Eventually the food alone may be enough to trigger her arousal.